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The Secret Sauce in the Marriage

01/27/2020 10:31:51 AM


Rabbi Elie Karfunkel


One of the many beautiful aspects of my job is that I get to learn with grooms before they get married. The challenge is that most of them don’t appreciate what I have to say because they think the honeymoon phase of their marriage will last forever. The truth is, that with hard work, you can get permanent bliss, but only after years of work. The honeymoon phase is a gift from Hashem to let us know what we can achieve if we work hard at it. 

I usually have many things to say, but today I want to share two ideas that are subtle, but absolutely essential. The first idea is to know that the best thing you can do for your children is to have a great marriage. Kids flourish in this environment and they see first-hand how to treat a spouse. So remember to spend quality time with your spouse (date night). Don’t worry about ignoring your kids during the time you spend with your spouse; your kids will benefit far more in the long run. 

Another key component is to have art in the home: pictures of Israel, Jewish life, Grandparents and family, and other beautiful scenery are subtle reminders to your family what your values are.

May we all strive (and succeed!) in having a more fulfilling marriage with our spouses, and may we reach great heights in all our meaningful activities. 

Mon, April 22 2024 14 Nisan 5784